Personal Development

What on Earth IS Personal Development?

June 25, 2017 by Stephanie O'Dea 9 Comments

Personal Development for Moms.

Stay at home moms, working moms, work from home moms — it doesn’t matter!

I am a sucker for self-help books, and love browsing at the local book store, or the section in the library that houses all the “Get Rich Fast!” and “Change Your Life RIGHT THIS MINUTE!” books. I don’t really know what I’m looking for, but I do know that I really like looking.

I’m both pessimistic and optimistic when I crack open the binding, or track down an author on the Internet.

I am not one to believe everything I see or read—I’m just not wired that way. But I do like knowing that with some time, energy, and positive thinking changes for the better in all aspects of life are possible.

One of my favorite authors, Brian Tracy, taught me at the impressionable age of 21 that personal development simply means to never stop learning. I like that definition.

I also like the idea that it’s okay to want to be better. There is no shame in wanting to be a better person, parent, athlete, employee, business owner, or humanitarian.

Striving to be better does not mean that you are dissatisfied with your life. Instead it means that you are interested in becoming even better—-a valuable lesson to teach and model to children.

I am not interested in being the best of the best at anything—-it seems like just too much work, and I’m an awfully lazy person.

But I do like to ask questions, and then follow up with research. 🙂

One of my favorite things about the Internet is that I can ask good ol’ google a question, and get lots of answers. Who knows if the answer I come across is truly valid, but I can keep looking until I find the answer that best fits me and my mindset at the present moment.

I also like reading about real people and learning what worked and what didn’t for them.

Sometimes being A Mom makes you (me) forget that there is a PERSON behind the mom. I get wrapped up in the day to day meal prep, potty helping, and board book reading part of my day and forget to do something (ANYTHING!) for myself.

And so I need to remember The Womom.

The WoMom is the woman behind the mom. The WoMom needs to be nurtured, whether that is by reading REAL and not picture books, getting some exercise, or by taking a nap.

Do whatever it takes to remember who you were as a person before having children.

Were you interested in learning a new language? Get some immersion tapes from the library and pop them in while you fold laundry or chop vegetables. Always wanted to play the guitar? Look through the brochure from the rec dept and find an inexpensive class.

Life moves so very quickly, and I would hate for you (or me!) to have a longer list of “shouldas” than “dids.”

One good thing about getting older, is that you have more self-esteem. What would have freaked you out at 18 or 19 no longer does.

Take the swing class. You can do it.

I want to learn as much as I can about as many things as I can. I want to garden. I want to travel. I want to do the things that I always wanted to do —- and I don’t want to do them when it’s too late.

Does this make me a tiny bit selfish?

Yes. maybe. But I don’t want my kids to suck away (literally, ha!) all of my brain cells and identity.

I am naturally a pretty curious person and when I don’t follow through on this curiosity is when I get cranky and begin to feel resentful. And that’s not good for the kids. A Happy Mom = Happy Kids.

This is it. This is the only today.

Make it count.

Consider yourself High-fived, Patted-on-the-back, and hugged. xoxoox steph

Making and Keeping New Year’s Resolutions

December 15, 2016 by Stephanie O'Dea 1 Comment

I get a lot of questions about New Year’s Resolutions.

I’ve gotten pretty good at making and keeping my resolutions each new year — and while it’s still not super easy for me to stay on track, each and every year I have a bit more resolve to keep on course.

It doesn’t matter if you are reading this post in February, in April, or even in September— there is still plenty of time to get your new year goals and resolutions back on track.

If you’ve fallen off the wagon, here are some tips to climb back in it and buckle up; there’s a long road ahead until the end of the year.

If you haven’t made any new year resolutions or goals for this year or for the next one, or don’t like to because you don’t think that’s “your thing” — okay.

But you also can’t change for the better in any way unless you make the conscious decision to do so. And regardless of your personal journey or path, I believe we all could do a bit better each year.

This is it.

You’re not going to get today back again, and it’s okay to want tomorrow to be slightly better.

How to make New Year Resolutions that You’ll Keep:

1) Write it down. This is such a simple step, yet the majority of people don’t do it.

Yes, there are plenty of people who have stuck to their resolve to lose weight or get out of debt by not writing down their goals, but if you DO write it down you have a greater chance of success.

And who are we to fool around with statistics? If it feels hokey, don’t worry about it. You don’t have to share what you’ve written down to anybody — just keep it in a notebook or folded up in your purse.

2) Tell Someone. I know.

In suggestion number 1 I said you don’t have to share your written resolution or goal list with anyone and now I’m telling you to tell someone else your personal wishes and dreams.

I promise I’m not losing my mind— you still don’t have to share your written out list, but you DO have to share what you’re working on.

Accountability to someone else is a much stronger motivational drive than an intrinsic one. This means that you are more likely to disappoint yourself than you are someone else.

That’s just how human nature is. We are also much more forgiving to others than we are to ourselves —- so if you veer off track, having a supportive someone in your corner is just who you’ll need to confide in and who can help you retain confidence.

This is what I did with the slow cooker site, and what Jen did with her cocktail site.

We told the Internet — it’s a pretty big group to be held accountable to!

3) Review your resolutions every single day. However you do this is up to you.

You can pull out your list of goals, or rewrite them every morning. Some people have excellent results by writing their resolutions out as if they have already happened. For instance, if your goal is to lose those final last ten pounds, you might start your day by thinking about how thankful you are that you can fit into the dress hanging in the closet.

You can go a step further and visualize yourself wearing it and hear in your head all the complements you’ll get from your friends.

I have a vision board. I make a new one every year, and I keep it in the bathroom.

It’s personal, and I have sayings and quotes, and magazine cutouts on it. I only share it with Adam, and even he kind of rolls his eyes a bit at how particular some of my visions (picture cutouts) are.

But that’s okay. Because my vision board makes me smile and keeps me focused on what it is I’m working towards — I look at it quite a few times a day, and somedays it spurs me on to take action on a certain writing assignment or to go do a few pushups.

Other days I just zone out. I’ve decided to believe that even on my zone out days my subconscious is working on something. 😉

4) Pretend you’ve already succeeded. Or fake it till you make it.

This might seem phony at first, but you’ll get used to it in practice. If your New year’s Resolution was to work out every morning, act like a person who works out every morning.

What time does that person wake up? What does she wear? Does she sleep in her workout clothes and works out before getting dressed for the day?

What does she eat? Do you need different food in the house?

If your resolution was to write every day on your All American Novel, start acting like a novelist.

What does a novelist do? Does she get up before everyone else in the house and write for an hour? Does she have a set of index cards with character names and traits?

Does she spend 3 hours a day surfing facebook or pinterest, or does she buckle down and work?

5) Reward yourself. This doesn’t need to be elaborate, nor does it need to be expensive, but you have to find a way to celebrate the tiny steps and milestones along the way.

Day to Day life is hard enough as it is — trying to change or adapt is even harder, even if you know it’s for the better.

Human nature is to find the easiest and least resistant path. It’s easier to lay around on the couch than it is to lace up your shoes and go for a walk.

So reward yourself. Walk to the grocery store and after making a few laps get yourself a pack of sugarless gum.

If you’ve gotten through the entire day without yelling at the kids, take a bath. Paint your toes. Do something just for you that’s a reward. And there is no harm in using the reward as motivation to keep to your goals — “if I don’t use my credit card but instead pay it off, I can use the extra savings in our vacation fund.”

I’m sure you see what I mean.

6) Seek out Been-There/Done-That advice. This is what people mean when they say “find a mentor.”

I don’t know what your goals are — but I do have two groups that I maintain (outside of crockpotting!) that are for mentoring women. I have my Life and Time Management group for moms, and I have my Blogging As a Business mastermind group.

You can learn more about these groups, here:

Why New Year’s Advice from MEN or from Online Gurus Doesn’t Work

So here’s the thing. I’m a 40 year old mom of three girls. They are 15, 12, and 6 right now. I have ALWAYS been a goal-oriented person. I love lists, I love plans-of-attack and I regularly have client phonecalls and skype chats with other Moms who are also smashing their goals out of the park.

But goals written For Men and By Men don’t work for me, and I don’t think they will work for you.

🙂

So, for all you moms out there who are Mom First — I hear you. I know. It’s tough to put yourself first and your ambition first.

So don’t do it for you. Do it for these marvelous beings you have created and brought into this world. Because you are their role model. They look up to you and are watching you.

You deserve to live the best version of your life. You deserve to have everything you’ve ever wanted and ever dreamed of.

You want that for your kids, I know you do. It’s okay to want it for yourself, too.

~~~

You don’t have to be in the first week of January to decide to be a New You.

Or a Newer Version of You.

You can do this. I know you can.

and it’s not too late.

It’s never too late to accomplish anything you put your mind to.

xoxoox

Back to School Year Resolutions

August 21, 2016 by Stephanie O'Dea 21 Comments

don't wait until January to get Organized! The beginning of the school year is the perfect time to start New and Fresh!

Making And Keeping Back to School Year Resolutions

School starts on Monday. Are you ready? Has your school year already begun?

A hundred million years ago before I had kids of my own, I remember my friend Jenny talking about Back to School Year Resolutions.

I didn’t really get it, but I decided that I might as well make a few of my own come each September since I LOVE New Year Resolutions, and having a few new ones (or the opportunity to tweak my current/old ones) could only be a Good Thing.

Now that the kids are both in school, I understand so much better the importance of starting the year off organized and with some goals.

Organize the Homework Space.

I’m working on that today. Since everything is on sale right now, I decided to stock up on all the homework supplies we might possibly need throughout the school year. I also bought some extra scissors and rolls of tape, because those items seem to disappear in our house—no matter where they are housed, or how many we own.

It’s kind of a mystery.

If you can find plastic pencil boxes on sale, snatch one up for each of your children (I found them for 50 cents each!) and put in pencils, scissors, markers, a ruler, eraser, etc.

Younger children will need crayons and safety scissors. Label the boxes and bring them out only at homework time, otherwise the materials will be used on the weekends or on play dates for arts and crafts, and the homework supplies will go missing.

And you will feel frustrated. Trust me.

Clothes.

We don’t have a school uniform, but oh how I wish we did. My kids are still relatively young, but are both girls (with another girl on the way!) and they take an awful long time to pick out their clothes in the morning.

They also have the tendency to change their minds halfway through breakfast and completely change their outfit, leaving strewn clothes all over the floor.

Until I got mean.

I balked at the idea of picking clothes out the night before for quite a while. It seemed controlling and I didn’t like the idea of stifling creativity.

That changed when I realized that the kids just don’t seem fully awake enough in the morning to make choices. It was overwhelming, and they ended up wearing the same clothes over and over, causing wear and tear on only a few pieces of clothing.

Now (on their own, surprisingly) they decide on clothes the night before, and get everything out, down to socks and underwear and get dressed without (much) mayhem).

Before stuffing new clothes onto the old, take the time to PROM (purge, remove, organize, maintain) the dresser drawers and closets for outgrown, stained, or damaged clothing.

Meals.

If you aren’t a meal planner, you might really want to become one.

The new school year brings a new soccer season, boy scouts, girl scouts, PTA meetings, new music lessons, and homework.

It’s much easier to go throughout your day in relative peace when you don’t need to run to the store at 5pm (with all the crazies) for something for dinner. I try and plan breakfasts, lunches, and snacks, too.

Nothing elaborate, but just a rough skeleton of what food we’ll need in the house, and what I’ll need to pack for snacks and lunches.

I am not a night-before lunch packer, but many people are, and really find that it eases the morning rush. If your children are old enough to make their own lunches, have them–especially if you find that food is regularly coming home uneaten.

Kid Goals.

My little one is starting Kindergarten this year, and even she has a list of goals of what she’d like to achieve this year.

She’d like to learn to read, and she’d like to play on the “big playground.” The beginning of the school year is a great time to introduce your children to goal-setting and achieving.

If they have a lofty goal such as getting straight As, walk them through the steps needed to help achieve that goal.

If you know from personal experience that the goal is completely out-of-reach, then kindly help steer towards an obtainable one. Goals are like mini-dreams, and no one likes to have their dreams squashed.

Parent Goals.

You have a clean slate. What occurred last year that you weren’t so pleased with?

Homework battles? What should happen differently this year? Were meals hectic? Was there lots of bickering in the late afternoon?

It’s not reasonable to have a Stepford Home, but it is reasonable to have a plan in place for relative peace.

Many children need a bit of decompression time when getting home from school or from late-afternoon activities before re-entering the home community. Understanding this need, and limiting it to a certain amount of time can help to ease tears and frustration.

How have you been doing with your own New Year (or similar) goals and resolutions?

This is a perfect time to reassess and gain motivation to close the year out with a bang.

Do you want to kick your workout routine up a notch so come Halloween and the winter holidays you can indulge without guilt? Do you need some new Back-to-School clothing items to spruce up your own wardrobe?

Have you been waiting to start a project now that school is back in session? This is your opportunity. Go for it!

Perfection Smerfection.

There is no such thing as a perfect home, perfect children, or a perfect life. All you can do is focus on each teeny tiny step and task, and give it your full attention. You are doing a wonderful job.

If you’d like even more help, I have a new Printable Calendar System that you might really enjoy and get a lot of use out of.

Here’s to a Happy School Year!! xoox

I’m a Closet Homeschooler (teaching kids at home even if they go to school)

July 9, 2015 by Stephanie O'Dea 32 Comments

What is “Closet HomeSchooling”?

When I was pregnant with my first (10 years ago), I informed my husband, Adam, that I “reserved the right to homeschool.”

He was (skeptically) agreeable, so I took it upon myself to learn as much as I could about homeschooling in case the day ever came when I felt that I could do a better job teaching the kids than our local school.

We now have three little girls: 9 1/2, 6 1/2 and age sixteen months. We’ve moved a few times since I “staked my claim” to homeschool ten years ago, and now live in a very good school district.

so my kids go to public school (the baby is home, of course).

The children are happy, and are thriving. They continue to excel in class and are all naturally inquisitive and have a thirst for learning.

I’m happy with a lot that the school provides, but continue to supplement at home as much as I can. I try to be “around” the school a lot, which allows me opportunity to see firsthand behavior issues, and the time wasted moving from activities or lessons.

I do not think this is necessarily a bad thing–it’s just something I’m very aware of. Adam says I’m keeping score. Maybe I am!

I’m greatly looking forward to having the kids home with me when school lets out (8 days!). No matter how involved I am in the school, during the school year, Adam and I are not in charge.

The teacher is.

I wish I could say this doesn’t bother me, but I’d be lying. The school calendar dominates our day to day life, and I’m looking forward to getting a more natural flow to our days.

It’s Pretty Much “After-School” Homeschooling

I have gotten a few emails in the past week or so asking what activities I do with my children during the summer. My oldest is going to attend a 2-week enrichment program (3 hours a day),

[updated, 6/1: just got an email that the program has been canceled due to lack of funds/enrollment. NOT HAPPY. ]

and my 6 year old will attend a gymnastics class twice a week. I’ll probably throw in a week of swim lessons, and we’re hoping to get a sponsor for a late-summer book tour to Albuquerque, and will visit the Grand Canyon.

Otherwise, our days will be pretty loose— park trips, library visits, and playdates. The television will be turned off for the day by 10am, and the kids will have free range of the art supplies, books, games, and the back yard.

will they fight?

A.B.S.O.L.U.T.E.L.Y.

will I lose my temper (more than I should)?

Y.O.U. B.E.T.C.H.A.

will they complain that they’re bored?

W.I.T.H.O.U.T. A. D.O.U.B.T.

I can not wait.

Resources shown above, and what I use in our (closet) homeschooling curriculum:

Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons — I taught all three kids to read with this book. It’s actually not shown in the above picture because I lent it to our neighbor to use with her 3-year-old.

I do not use the writing exercises at all. At the end of the 100 lessons, your child will be reading on a 2nd grade level.

I started just for fun at around age 3 1/2 with my girls. I followed the lessons in order, but didn’t have a set time frame. If the kids wanted to sit with me and practice, we did. We would go months without even opening the book, but sometimes we’d do 4 lessons in a day. They each finished the book in it’s entirety before entering first grade.

BOB Books. — I’ve put these books away until the baby is ready. Warning: they tear easily! These are fun, whimsical books that teach reading both through phonics and memorization.

I actually think it’s mostly from memorization, but many disagree. Empowers young children that they can read an “entire book.”

Brain Quest decks — we have at least a dozen of these decks. I love giving them as gifts, and love receiving them!

I toss a deck into the diaper bag to pull out at restaurants when we anticipate a long wait, I use them in waiting rooms, in the car when waiting for music lessons to dismiss, etc. I keep a basket on the shelf on the end table and the kids pull them out when they’ve got some time to kill.

Brain Quest Workbooks — we were given a few of these, and the kids use them, but there’s definitely a workbook feel. I keep them “out” and sometimes they’ll do a page or two on their own, but mostly they are used for playing school with playdates.

Summer Bridge — I bought a set of these a few summers ago mostly to pacify myself that the kids were on the right track and their brains weren’t turning to mush.

I’ve since relaxed a bit on worksheets, but if you are a person who likes order and want the confidence of knowing the kids are *actually* learning or your kids like completing worksheets this is a good summer project.

Never Bored books — Mazes, word searches, brain teasers, coloring pages, etc. My kids like these better than traditional workbooks. I would recommend buying up an age group for a bit of a challenge.

Some of the activities require scissors and glue.

The Story of the World series, by Susan Wise Bauer — This series of books is written by the same author of The Well-Trained Mind.

We only have the first book and are only a third of the way through. It starts with Ancient Times: Earliest Nomads to the Last Roman Emperor. The book is written in story form, and is written from a secular perspective.

The Daring Book for Girls and The Dangerous Book for Boys — We have both of these books. Practical guide to pretty much anything: letter writing, fire building, camping, tying a variety of knots, how to be a good friend, proper restaurant manners.

These aren’t books to be read cover to cover, but used as a reference guide. I like to give these as gifts.

The Little House on the Prairie books — I have girls, so I’m not sure how well this series would fare in a house full of boys.

I read this series outloud to my big girls, starting when my oldest was 6 (I skipped over some of the Laura and Alfonso stuff). Reading this series outloud was hands-down the best history lesson my kids have ever had (thus far. they are still quite young!). We refer to “Laura and Mary” quite often in our house, and apply the knowledge of this time period to other history lessons to provide perspective.

I plan on rereading the series in a year or so to refresh all of our memories.

I Can Draw books and Pocket Doodle books — My first grader loves to draw and doodle, and will happily work for hours creating and recreating animal or people pictures.

These are the easiest-to-understand for little kids drawing guides I’ve found.

Soduku Unifex game — If you’ve never played soduku, or are intimidated by it, this is a FANTASTIC way to learn the game– for little kids and for grown ups! This is a one-player game, and once the fundamentals are learned, soduku is a solitary game enjoyed throughout your whole life.

Math, reasoning, strategy, and spacial awareness are all key aspects of this game. The box says ages 7 and up. My kids enjoyed playing (with help) at age five.

We play a lot of board games! These are our family-favorite board games.

Carcasonne — medieval strategy and “empire-building” game — easy to understand even for the little guys since it’s practically like dominoes

Blokus — great strategy game — similar to Tetris. Requires thinking ahead, spacial awareness, strategy to block opponent

Apples to Apples Jr. — great grammar and reading game that is fun and entertaining for the whole family. This is a rated G version, the adult one can get racy.

Kid Charades — sure, you can make up your own version of charades, but this is made specifically for kids and the cards have a few prompts on each one.

Cranium — one of our absolute favorites; a few different games all in one box!

Clue — classic board game, teaches bluffing and keeping a poker face/strategy

Golden Rules for the Family — printable

May 12, 2014 by Stephanie O'Dea 8 Comments

click the link for a printable PDF version of the golden rules for your use –steph

The Family’s Golden Rules

Summer is coming, and I plan on having the kids home with me. I don’t like having the kids at camps and try not to have a lot of structured activities planned during the summer months. It’s a little old-school, I know, but I just really like having them home with me and I like the uninterrupted free time and play that occurs when we don’t have something we HAVE to do.

And I’m kind of lazy.

And I’m terribly cheap.

That said, I do have things that I need to accomplish this summer, and in order for me to get my work done, the kids need to find a way to fend for themselves and not run completely feral.

We have chore charts, and we do follow The Daily 7 as much as we can to keep the house in somewhat decent order. I try to let them work out their own squabbles (my kids are currently 12, 9, and 4) and choose to not intervene unless truly necessary.

(see above. I’m kind of lazy…)

AND? I am not going to always be here. I need these kids to grow up to be responsible members of society, and in order for that to happen, I can’t swoop in and fix every last thing. They’ve got to figure it out on their own.

I’ve gotten a few emails about chores, and responsibility charts, and decided to use those emails as a springboard to make up a list of Golden Rules for the house. These are certainly not the *only* rules in our house, but these are the ones that I expect to be drummed into their heads before embarking out into the Wild Wild World.

Feel free to print these out and hang them up in the play room or family room.

I hope you’re having a wonderful day!!

Learn the Exact Strategies I use to Keep The House and Family Running Smoothly

(without losing my marbles!) by downloading this Free Cheat Sheet for Moms.

Time Management for Moms

June 29, 2011 by Stephanie O'Dea 27 Comments

time management for moms

I’m kind of fascinated by time management. I’ve lost count of the number of books I’ve read or listened to on tape/cd about this subject— probably well over a hundred. Whenever I have a moment or two in the library and I’m not stuck in the toddler corral, I wander into the business books and gather anything from the 658 or 332 shelves that I haven’t already read.

Most business books focus around time management and productivity. Productivity=money in business.

If you take a random poll while walking the streets, I’d venture to bet that most people wish they had more of 2 things: time and money.

I can’t really help with the money, but I can help free up some more time in your day.

Change Your Mindset.

This is probably the biggest obstacle to overcome–myself, included. If you have already decided that you don’t have enough time in the day to get it all done, you’ve defeated yourself before you’ve even begun. Don’t set yourself up for failure.

Decide that each day is a blank slate and schedule out what you want to accomplish.

Learn How to Say No.

Don’t agree to anything that doesn’t directly benefit your family. I know. It sounds callous, but if you don’t want to go to the class bowling party, don’t. RSVP no. Don’t lie– just say it’s not going to work out for you and leave it at that. If you don’t want to help organize the Church rummage sale, or arrive early to set up the chairs for the PTA meeting, don’t do it. It’s not healthy to say yes then run yourself ragged living up to a commitment you didn’t want to make in the first place.

Take back your time. Once you feel as if you’re in control of your time instead of outside influences being in charge, you can begin volunteering again.

Get Up Early.

When I suggest getting up early people sometimes freak out. In all the case studies I’ve read of successful people or people who “make it happen” they each have the same characteristic: they get up early. Usually at 5.

I know. I’m sorry.

I’ve done all the acronyms: SAH, WOH, WFH (stay at home, work out of the home, work from home) and I can absolutely-without-a-doubt credit getting up early as the key to a successful day. When I’m up in a quiet house, I feel peaceful. I love watching the sun rise while I sip my coffee, doing yoga without an audience, or going for an early morning walk or run. When I’m on a deadline, I use that hour or two to work.

In 2008 when I did the crockpot year, I got up at 4am most days. I was working from home doing 2 part time jobs, doing the crockpot stuff, and writing the first manuscript for the Totally Together Book. It was nuts, but I knew I needed to keep going. Once or twice a week I also did what I call the “split shift”: I went to bed at 8pm, then got up from midnight to 4am to work. I then slept till 7am when the kids woke me up.

The first week is the hardest, but it gets easier. I’d highly recommend putting the alarm clock on the other side of the room so you need to get all the way out of bed to turn it off. Once you’re out of bed it’s harder to climb back in (which every single day you’ll want to).

You Don’t Work 9 to 5, You Work 5 to 9

5am to 9pm Day Plan pdf

When my oldest was about 6 months, I listened to a time management book on tape which is what gave me the idea to make a day planner for moms. I emailed the Franklin Covey company and we corresponded a few times before they blew me off (they did send a 15% off coupon, though!) and I decided to create my own.

One of the lightbulb-moments I had while I was playing around with the project was the realization that I was trying to cram everything I needed/thought I needed to do between the hours of 9am to 5pm. I wanted EVERYTHING done for the day before dinner. I was under the misguided impression that the laundry, etc. should be completely finished before I watched TV or relaxed a bit. Once I started folding laundry during my tv goof-off hour (or whatever) I felt better; more whole.

This doesn’t mean that YOU, personally, need to do everything around the house—I’m a big fan of delegation and whole-heartedly believe that all of the chores should be divvied out among the children and the sexes.

Learn My Exact Strategies for Keeping the House and Family Running Smoothly

(without losing my marbles) by downloading this Free Cheat Sheet for Moms.

ALSO?

Cut Yourself Some (lots of) Slack.

There are times in your life that will always be crazier than others. When you’re pregnant, nursing, not sleeping, sick, the kids are sick, on a huge work deadline stuff just isn’t going to run as smoothly as it does when everyone is on their A-Game. Know this and accept it. Life is not a contest, nor is it a picture-perfect spread in a design magazine.

You’re doing an awesome job. You really are.

The Daily 7 for a Highly Successful Household

PROM (purge, remove, organize, maintain)

How to Company Clean in 30 Minutes or Less

Creating a (non-cheesy) Vision Board

January 3, 2011 by Stephanie O'Dea 11 Comments

Happy New Year!

The beginning of the year is made for day dreamers. What will you DO with yourself this year? Will this be the year you finally get organized? Lose weight? Start exercising daily?

Will this be the year that you move to your dream house? Land the dream job? Find a husband? Get a guinea pig (or two) to love lots and lots for two weeks and then forget all about it (them) and leave mom to clean the cage?

It’s up to you.

No really. It is.

The kids and I made vision boards over the weekend while Adam played with his new iPad. He says he doesn’t need to make a vision board because he already has all he needs/wants in life. I could read this two ways: he’s either fulfilled with me and the girls, or he’s fulfilled with the iPad.

hmm.

I first heard of making Vision Boards because of the book and video, The Secret. Before watching the video, I was already big goal setter, but liked the visual aspect of putting a vision board “out there.”

To the Universe.

did I lose you?

I know. It sounds terribly hokey, and I think believing that The Universe is going to respond with sunshine and roses just for “putting it out there” is far-fetched and naive, but I do it anyway.

Here’s why:

1) Writing your goals down forces you to focus on what you really want. You want more money? Great. How are you going to get (attract) this money? Maybe the sign advertising for extra nighttime help at Kohls is a sign (HA! a sign sign. didn’t even plan that one…) from The Universe.

or maybe it’s a coincidence. IT DOESN’T MATTER. What matters is what you DO with this sign (sign!).

2 ) Some people are naturally more visually oriented than others. Flipping through magazine pages is relaxing, and when you’re relaxed and your guard is down, your mind can wander to images that jump out at you. Fancy platform heels and a skintight dress? Maybe this means that deep down you want to either step up your look this year, or lose weight. Or both.

it’s okay.

Dream Big.

3) It’s fun. Art time is fun time. Let yourself have fun—there’s no need for perfection, and there certainly is no right or wrong way to make a vision board. You can hang a bulletin board over your desk, put words of wisdom on the bathroom mirror, cover your refrigerator with inspirational photos—it’s your choice.

My Vision Board is on the back of my bathroom door. We don’t have a home office, and I don’t want to explain what this or that means to visitors/family, so I keep it to myself. This is up to you. My friend Kim has a party with some of her close friends and they make their boards together—do whatever is right for you.

But remember: don’t put the stuff up that you think other people want you to. This is for you, and you only. It’s okay to feel greedy, narcissistic, and ridiculous.

you’re in good company.

Also, a reader emailed. She took a digital picture of her vision board and then uses it as the wallpaper on her phone and computer, so she’s constantly reminded of the things she’s working on/trying to attract. Fantastic!

How to be Blissfully Happy

April 27, 2009 by Stephanie O'Dea 28 Comments

Wow. This is such a powerful post, and so important for every mom to read. The thing is, these kids are watching our every move. We need to model proper behavior and actions.

I went through the computer files yesterday, and PROMed some of my old writing, and the overflowing downloads folder that was causing the desktop to run slower than I’d like.

I found a folder of writing I did 3 years ago. I’m going to copy and paste what I wrote—I entitled it, “How to Be Blissfully Happy.” I wrote this to myself, during a time where I felt like I was just “going through the motions”—we had just moved again, and I was working full-time at a job I hated. Hated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How to Be Blissfully Happy

Why are some moms happy and others are not? Are you happy right now?

Why?

Why not?

Our family has moved a lot.

5 times in the past 2 years. That’s an awful lot.

During all the turmoil, I kept finding myself thinking “when we get to XYZ, we’ll be happy.”

I would rush through my day, doing as little as possible do “just get through it” so the next day would come just so everything would start all over again. I was moving fast, the family was moving fast towards our “new life.”

But things were happening around me without me truly enjoying them.

The baby learned how to walk.

I took the pictures and video like a “good mom” but I didn’t have the wonderment and the joy that I would have liked to experience.

My elder daughter said goodbye to her friends—friends that were so close they felt like siblings.

I was there—I again took the pictures—but I was thinking about “getting this done quick” so I could go home to pack.

Pack.

I don’t beat myself up for these things. I made a mistake. I’m human.

But, as a human, I have the choice to do things differently.

I can choose to spend more of my day in a blissful/thankful/joyful/HAPPY state then in a sourpuss/frowny/nothing is ever good enough state.

Because that’s what I would wish for my daughters when they become moms.

I’m not talking about being the Resolve lady who answers from the other room “That’s Okay!” in a sing-songy voice when her kids say they just spilled grape juice on the carpet.

She must be on crack. Who in their right mind would do that? It’s grape juice! Grape juice stains!

But so does yelling.

And freaking out.

And closing cabinet doors a bit too rough. And being so mad that you want to throw things or hit.

Over what?

Grape juice?

On carpet.

Really?

Is that worth it?

But we all do it.We all get so caught up in the moment we lose our cool, our compassion, our quest to be supermom.

And we crack.

Those moms who appear on the outside to be supermoms–do they not have babies up at all hours of the night?Do they not have dishes to wash, a husband who works too much, kids who act ungrateful and the forever-growing Mt. Washmore in their house?

Or have they just decided to be happy?

Is that all it takes?

To just *decide*?

But I can’t be happy right now. I’m too fat. My house is too disorganized. My kids don’t listen.T hey don’t sleep, either.

I have a deadline at work. My husband doesn’t help. And he’s losing his hair. And he never cuts his toenails.

I need new bras. I have too much laundry to do .That lady in the grocery store looked at me funny.

I haven’t done the baby’s scrapbook and he’s turning 14 next month.

I can’t possibly be happy right now. I have too much to do.

It’s up to you.

You are the boss of you.

You are in charge of every experience you have today and tomorrow.

You are your child(ren)’s best role model.

Choose to have fun today.

Choose to love a stranger today.

Choose to be happy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The computer stamp on this writing says May, and I remember my last day of work at this job being July 30.

Making the decision is the hardest part of all change. Once the decision has been made, you (me, us, the universe) can move forward.

Have an absolutely wonderful week.

Learn the Exact Steps and the Strategy I use to Keep Our Family and Our House Running Smoothly

(while maintaining a somewhat-level of sanity! 🙂 Download my cheatsheet, here.)

Personal Development

Personal Development for Moms.

Stay at home moms, working moms, work from home moms — it doesn’t matter!

I get a lot of questions about New Year’s Resolutions.

How to make New Year Resolutions that You’ll Keep:

Why New Year’s Advice from MEN or from Online Gurus Doesn’t Work

Making And Keeping Back to School Year Resolutions

Organize the Homework Space.

Clothes.

Meals.

Kid Goals.

Parent Goals.

Perfection Smerfection.

What is “Closet HomeSchooling”?

It’s Pretty Much “After-School” Homeschooling

Resources shown above, and what I use in our (closet) homeschooling curriculum:

We play a lot of board games! These are our family-favorite board games.

The Family’s Golden Rules

Learn the Exact Strategies I use to Keep The House and Family Running Smoothly

Change Your Mindset.

Learn How to Say No.

Get Up Early.

You Don’t Work 9 to 5, You Work 5 to 9

Learn My Exact Strategies for Keeping the House and Family Running Smoothly

Cut Yourself Some (lots of) Slack.

Happy New Year!

How to Be Blissfully Happy

It’s up to you.

Learn the Exact Steps and the Strategy I use to Keep Our Family and Our House Running Smoothly

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