Taking Care of Yourself is not Selfish


One of the best things about my day-to-day life, is that I get to talk to and help people — primarily women.

a theme keeps coming up —

and it is most definitely something that I have struggled with, also.

Guilt. and the feeling of being kind of anxious when the topic of self-care comes up.

I’ve given it a lot of thought — and there are a few things that bubble up for me, and I want to see if they ring true for you, too.

First Off, Self Care does Not mean Spending Money

The idea of spending money on self care comes from commercials and social media and from people who are trying to get you to buy things.

I’m not trying to get you to buy anything.

I just want you to feel good about yourself, love yourself unconditionally, and find a way to pay yourself first.

and guess what? that is free!


I pay myself each and every morning by getting up early — for me, that’s SUPER early — I get up at 4 am even though I don’t need to leave the house for my day job until 7:40.

This gives me ample time to write and journal in the morning, take a non-rushed shower, play around with hair and makeup, walk Sheldon, listen to a podcast, talk on the phone with my friend Jennifer, (we chat while I walk Sheldon) and check-in with my kids and husband.

Some of the days I take 20 minutes to work out in the garage or go for a quick run.

I do this FOR ME. And I do it because I WANT to do it.

and it doesn’t cost anything!

Second, Don’t Schedule Self Care when “Everything Else is Finished”

Because, it’ll never ever ever be “all finished.”

and that is OKAY!

There will always be dishes to wash, laundry to fold, cobwebs to dust, bills to pay, tv to binge watch, etc etc etc

give yourself a break. extend yourself the exact same grace you would extend to others.


don’t treat self care as another something to check off of a never-ending To Do list.

do what feels good — don’t do it because you think you have to, or because somebody on the internet tells you that you should.



Third, Don’t Numb Out

This is the one that used to be the hardest for me, and for the majority of the women that I work with, but I PROMISE you that something good will emerge from the hard.

Don’t numb out.

feel all the feels — and then act on the facts.

If you aren’t already in the Private Facebook Group — join, because I’ve got a worksheet for Feel the Feels/Act on The Facts

If you find that your version of self care is to numb out your thoughts and feelings by watching *other people* live out their lives (on tv, social media, sports) or by using drugs/alcohol so you can “turn your brain off” —

that’s not self care.

That’s denial.

You’ve got to go quiet. Be still. Listen to all of the little voices in your head and work through them. The more you do it, the better you will become, and your life will become more fun to live.

if we’re lucky, life is long. Live it slowly; with intention and purpose.


I think you are wonderful.

lots and lot of love — consider yourself hugged, tightly.

xoxoxoxox steph


If you haven’t taken me up on my offer of a free, 30-minute coaching call, you should! Stop putting it off.

Get the details, here: https://stephanieodea.com/mindset/



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