How to Live in the Land of AND

I was helping my fifth grader the other day with a writing assignment where she needed to use all of the basic “joining words” — conjunctions, or the newer, hipper word:


There was an acronym to help the kids remember the basic list — which is rather sexist, but whatever, I don’t write elementary school textbooks, I write books for normal people and for the internet.


The acronym was FANBOYS

F: for
A: and
N: nor
B: but
O: or
Y: yet
S: so

I helped her with her assignment — that kid is a pretty good creative writer, but she really needs to work on her handwriting skills…

but I’m going to let that go for now.

OKAY. Back to why I’m writing this all out for you today.

As I’m prone to do…. I started thinking of ways to metaphorically tie this lesson of conjoining words back to Life, the Universe, and Everything and see if it would be helpful for those I work with through my coaching.

and I came up with:

You Need to Live in the Land of And

not the land of either/or

Because otherwise, you are cutting yourself off from what could be a huge breakthrough in your life trajectory and self-growth and you’re allowing yourself to play small.

And we don’t want that.

Let’s think about it.

How many times have you said to yourself:

I can be a fun mom OR I could have a clean kitchen.

I can get up early to work out OR I could get a good night’s sleep.

I can eat salad OR I could eat a doughnut.

I can make money OR I can help others.

I can pay off my car loan OR I can save for college.

I can lose weight OR I can eat out at a restaurant.


Either/or land is not a fun place to be

and it’s exhausting — because you are having little baby battles in your brain all day long.

Let’s change it.

Move to AND land.

and start saying these things to yourself:

I can be a fun mom AND have a clutter free home.

I can have fibromyalgia AND walk every day.

I can be a good Christian AND make money.

I can be in the throes of perimenopause AND continue to lose weight.

I can get up early to journal and meditate AND feel well-rested.

I can go out with my friends AND stick to my eating plan.


You can do all of these things. I know you can, and I’m here to support you.

I think you are amazing and wonderful and I’m so happy you are here.

xoxox steph


I am super passionate about one-on-one coaching and I’d love to help you move through your mindset blocks when it comes to living the life of your dreams.

I know from the work I do what it’s like to be on the cusp of something — but not be exactly certain what that something is.

But you know it’s out there.

You know you are destined to do more in this lifetime. I have helped women uncover deeply buried dreams like writing a book, speaking on stage, retiring early, and paying off homes.

Coaches are not therapists. Coaches help guide you to where you are going, and if you don’t know exactly where you are going, I can help you draw out a map.

The year is halfway over.

If you want to make the most of the rest of this year and have a cheerleader in your corner, rooting you on and holding you accountable, reach out.

I’m here to help. Schedule a free 30 minute call where we can work to blast through your most pressing mindset block.


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