Happy Friday eve — I think you are wonderful. 🙂
I’m going to talk to you a bit about Self Regulation today —
and if you are a listener of the Slow Living podcast some of this may sound a bit familiar.
But I’m going to tell you again.
Because important stuff bears repeating, and it’s okay to hear things a few different times and in a few different ways.
You are a grown up.
An adult.
And you NEED to be this way, especially if you have children.
If you can not center yourself, take control of your emotions, and really be able to give yourself a well-deserved time out BEFORE you lose your marbles —
you’re not doing your kids any favors.
You’ve really gotta get this together.
In school, we teach kids how to pay attention to their brains and their bodies and to begin to understand warning signs when things are not okay.
Kids can’t learn when they are not okay.
Grown-ups can’t parent or adult properly if they are not okay.
Dismissing negative feelings or wishing them away or praying them away does not work.
(that’s why the pharmaceutical companies and alcohol manufacturers are rolling in money! 😉 )
You’ve gotta actively and on purpose pay attention to who you are, and what makes you tick so you don’t lash out irrationally or unexpectedly.
Here and there? That’s okay. You are human, and humans make mistakes. Just apologize from the heart and move on.
But if your baseline is always on the verge of being in the “Red Zone” then please take this email as a sign.
This is a fixable problem.
If you need help and can’t find a way to regulate your feelings and emotions on your own, reach out to your doctor.
I’d like to share one of my favorite resources that I ask my coaching clients to read if they haven’t healed from the way that they were raised:
Kids lash out if their parents aren’t their safe spot.
Grown-ups sometimes lash out if they weren’t parented properly.
It’s not your fault if you weren’t parented properly.
But it is your fault if you continue the cycle and don’t try to make changes on purpose.
So: What can you do, starting today?
Slow Down.
Stop paying attention to the noise and the nonsense out there that says you have to do all the things for all the people all the time.
You don’t.
It’s okay to not have a gingerbread house making party this year if you aren’t feeling up to it.
It’s okay to have the Elf take a nap on the mantle and not move for a few days.
It’s okay to not organize the church sing-along.
I want you to do the things that really and truly feed your soul.
One of the best things that I do, and the women I work with do, is journal.
Before you roll your eyes at me… 😉
Try it. There are 24 days left in this calendar year.
You do not need to wait until New Years to start feeling better.
Start now.
Here is the daily worksheet — only print out page 4.
Make copies, and do this.
Do it for your kids, and do it for yourself.
as always, consider yourself loved and hugged.
I think you are wonderful.
xoxo steph
